| What about men feeling attracted by women? Uncounted are the poems that have been written, the pictures that have been painted, the lyrics that have been sung for that very reason. Knowing that, we are inclined to expect highly relevant and meaningful reasons behind such an overwhelming feeling. At least that was my expectation when I read my first review on that topic in Behavioral & Brain Sciences (Gangestad & Simpson 2000). But to my disappointment, all I learned from that review was, that men feel attracted to young and healthy women who hold out the prospect of giving birth to healthy children, and that symmetry and mediocrity are used by our perception as easy markers for health. Youth, and some measure for normality, that's all. So much about our romantic feelings. |
| I, for my part, felt offended by the imputation that my dearest feelings should be predictable so easily. Was it true? A woman just has to be young and to look quite "normal", and here it goes, my heart? I didn't want to accept that, at least not for me. But having read that, my erotic world no longer was the same. Until then, day after day dozens of women had crossed my way, attracting my attention to variable extents, and I never addressed much thinking to that fact. But with this new information in mind (as trivial as it might have appeared on first glance), I subjected my spontaneous feelings to some closer scrutiny. And to my desperation I found out: it was true: I preferentially turned my attention to young women that looked quite normal. What a superficial man I was, how easy to calculate! Like a juke box: You put the nickel in, and here it comes, the music. It just has to be a nickel. |
| The thoughts of a scientist never stop. Be it trivial, be it superficial for a man to look after young and normal looking women, but some kind of gut-feeling tells him that there is more hiding beneath the shimmering surface. From an evolutionary point of view, I shouldn't have any scruples about my erotic attitudes: on the long term, that "superficial" strategy proved quite valuable for the prosperity of mankind. However, these behavioral traits developed a long time ago, and it is very unlikely that day after day, dozens of pre-historic women crossed the ways of pre-historic men. |
| In our modern days, the natural inclination of a normal man to approach each female appearing to him physically capable of carrying his healthy child, leads to the inescapable heartache dilemma (IHAD). Today, thousands of women cross the way of modern Homo sapiens, but only a minority of them is (A) young, and (B) symmetrical and average in outer appearance. And all these women, on their part, cross the ways of thousands of men. Inescapably, most men will fall in love with the same minority of women, and most of them will be disappointed. Very likely, from the female point of view a similar dilemma can be outlined (with some other accents, however - see my earlier essay). |
| Our urban way of living
is not in harmony with our instincts any more. Culture tries to bridge
the gap. We refrain from following our natural drives, respecting the educated
feelings of our fellow-men. Instead of suffering a life-time from one broken
heart after the other, we read novels, go to cinemas and theatres, listen
to music, and engage in night-long debates on the meaning of life. That
helps a lot... |
| 6/05 < MB (6/05) > 6/05 Beauty & attraction |
| Gangestad SW, Simpson JA (2000) The evolution of human mating: Trade-offs and strategic pluralism. Behav Brain Sci 23:573-64. |